Manic Tremors

I get these bursts of anxiety. Just pure manic and frenetic feelings of failure mixed with upset. Questions galore. It think of a line or a subject from my thesis and I want to cry. I cringe and imagine the filthy things that could be said about me.

I critique my paper, and think things like "you have a pathetic methodology," "it sounds arrogant," it's barely passable...

Sleeping was hard, but it was harder waking up. I just felt failure, the same to when I lost that contest.

When will it change? When will I feel better about it? Until them I have tremors beneath my surface of completely upsettling mania...