Hiding

I hide my identity. I know it sounds crazy that in this day and age, with Google being a verb, noun, and a crutch (that I frequently use), that I would try to limit the availability of information.

Here's how I think of it. I was talking to my father in law, who does things like Google his friends and family, and he had found my blog by searching Sophie and [husband's last name]. He found my blog that easy. I try for anonymity for several reasons. Too scared to share my thoughts with an actual account name stamped to them. I really don't want my employers or scholarly colleagues to find it and let it mar their impressions of me. But mainly I hide my identity to avoid those I used to know.

That sounds horrible. Even I think it is a very imperfect system of security. All or no one. Hmmm... At the moment, with my reputation as a mini-historian on the climb from the very roots up, I feel vulnerable. There are of course some people I would love to get in touch with. They don't know my real last name, just my old one that I still go by.

Plus, my writing is not for the audience that is my past. All in all, I've out grown that crowd. Just out grown it, just done. No malice. No spite. Some really good memories, but I'm always looking forward. Always looking to my future, writing for now, forgetting the ills of my past. I don't mean to "belabor" my point but, I don't want to talk to, see, hear, or know that certain peoples I used to be acquainted with at one point or another have cared to find, read, or investigate my whereabouts. Myspace killed anonymity. Facebook promotes continued mediocrity, though behind the facade of networking and friendships. Some people use those networks for their intended purpose, but anyone who has spent endless hours addictively searching for previous acquaintences knows my gripe. I don't need to know any of the information I find out, but yet, I look. Or I used to. I don't frequent those sites for that reason, as well as the sheer fact that my time is really valuable and goes down the drain with any network. My blog----- is not a friendship network. It is an outlet. I don't want any feedback!

This is why people have pen names. What could my pen name be? Sophie works for now. I doubt anyone reads this blog regularly, or ever for that matter. I'm not stupid though. I know my work is public. I share it very secretively. Those who are really interested would know how to find it... after some searching. I have four blogs, so there is little to show for my other works, besides this larger and longer blog I write.

I googled myself today... to make sure no one could find me easily. I laugh. Its funny because its true, and I bet you I am not the only one to be self conscious about what they post online. There is a sense of security knowing your work is just a grain of sand in the galaxy that is the internet. I also know that it is linking better than a universe, and some key searching techniques could lead someone to here, to me, to Sophie Edythe Grow.