To Care or Not to Care

The question of this election has been that of movie magnitude. That cathartic and moving feeling of pain and anguish in expectation is something I've only every seen in the theaters. How sad but also how exciting. We pay money to feel that excitement. What is it about that feeling?

I think it awakens a part of people that cares. A part of people that can lay dormant and unconnected from a greater feeling of togetherness. To care. To care but also to take action. As an American I am taught that the American Identity is one of pride, freedom, patriotism, and individuality, but it is evermore clear that people, Americans are all about conforming, not standing out, not standing up, and never caring like we think we do.

Caring about more than myself. Caring about more than my children and their children. To care about other races, to care about the effect of a new president on other countries, and to care about more than my stupid student loans, coffee budgets, and my career future. Not everyone has the privileged and blessed opportunities I have been given. I won't take it for granted. I want others to have more. I want others to be treated the same. I realize the difference and gap in opportunities given. I realize the message sent to all those kids out there: although it would be great to go to college and get a career, the status quo is just not attainable for that tax bracket. Those kids are taught by inferior teachers who lack passion, then they are told the expectations that they need to go to a university to succeed, but they are given little to no help.

How will it look if a president walks onto the stage saying not only does he expect better of everyone, including teachers and students. And then, after he raises expectations, he makes a deal. He makes a deal that he will be there fighting for more opportunities if people just show up. To just show up and care.

I can genuinely say I care more about giving to my country under an Obama presidency. He race and his religion are mute points. His generous character, his ability to listen and debate, and his ability to treat every person with the same care and attention makes him a true leader, not just a president. I would love to follow his example. What a perfectly imperfect man. A man. He is not a god or a prophet. He is a man with dreams and doubts. He is a human who aspired beyond what he was told he could achieve. That isn't the American dream to me, that is a man's dream in world which promotes the American Dream cliche but offers this dream at a price and with preconditions.


Socialism as a threat does not make me shake in my boots. The consideration of others isn't scary. We all need to give to get. Could we make it an American ideal to taking care of others, to serve our country, and to be inspired by a presidential leader who represents the epitome of passion and love for the other man.

To care about how the world sees us, to care about how we are perceived, and to uphold an honorable image is achievable.

This election is about America. Not the "real America" but the idea of America. This idea is moving and morphing. This idea has taken a hard hit, but we can save it. The identity is beyond the president, because it exists in the minds and lives of living people. People are waking up to realize their American Identity has be horns waggled, vandalized, and abused to the fullest extent of the government's power. But instead of relying on McCain to change it all for them, they are giving their trust to a president who gives each person agency in their future. As it should be... but will it be?

I am struck by feeling of complete paralysis, followed by doubt and apocalyptic fears. I save up on chicken broth and saltines for when they will be all we can trade for batteries or other essentials. I feel a tightening in my chest and tears behind my eyes. I can't accept the chance that we have that "maverick" as our dead beat president with his power hungry gold digging girlfriend. They don't represent me, or Americans. I want Obama as my president. I want to care. I don't want these feelings of empathy for others to leave, to be cauterized by searing pain of the injustice of a McCain-Palin presidency. I want to care, but if November 4th comes and goes without my greatest wish coming true, my life's course will change. To recover would seem impossible and to see our country fall further is what I would have to look forward to.

Please, for my night time prayer tonight. Please Obama become the president so I can keep on caring. I want to stay human and feel proud. I don't want to fear and cower. Oh for sure it feels apocalyptic. But more than anything I know it only hurts and it is only scary because I care. To be or not to be, well I hope I still want to be after Nov. 4th, as well as to care.