i think she honestly believes she's not that bad

"This is what she'll do." "Maybe I wasn't paying attention to her. That is where the quilt comes from." "I don't know what to do anymore, but if she knocks on my door I'm going to feed her."

Titles
My Condition
Some of Her Behaviors
From this Day Forward
Hit a Rock Bottom
Accountable
A Different Path
Tough Love
Never Get Better
Healthy Consequences

With all the power in the world, nothing could stop Ryla. No one but herself. Dan was the only one to help her to see that. With all the magic in the world, with all the earth shaking power God himself held, it came down to hearing Ryla say those precious words. Help me. So, he did.

I don't remember the pain as much as each day goes by and as each night's sleep washes through those tough and lonely memories I thought I would drown in. Now that I see those events could have been approached differently. I couldn't find the healthy way to deal with my pain and my loss. My first husband and I were in love at one time. We were in love and we loved life. We loved life so much we thought living it to the fullest meant partying until the sun went down. Sexual encounters in dangerous places. Leaving out cares and responsibilities to chance by running off. What we didn't know, but that I see now, was that we were self destructing. He and I were not looking to each other. We were not deeply lost in each other's gaze or in the heart of a soul mate. We were surrounded by all the things that would make us forget that maybe we made the wrong choice, maybe we weren't happy, and just maybe our searching gaze for the next high or the next drink meant running farther and farther away from our problems. When I would get angry I would accuse him of never loving me. I wish I could just say what I did was always due to a lack of self esteem. And if you ever asked me I would tell you I felt that sincerely. Feeling good about myself was impossible. So often addiction is blamed on the addict and blamed on self esteem. Just pick yourself up. That's what bootstraps are for. If you've never been an addict, then you will never know the source of addiction. Abuse. Family problems. A history of drug or alcohol abuse. Mental illnesses that can be stacked from here to the moon and back. Behavior. Economic situations. We forget to empathize. To look beyond our own tendency to blame. Shame is a strong emotion.